Some of us are probably really grateful that this week has come to a close as it's been anything but a damn parade. Good news is that the weekend appears kinder and gentler so hang in there. Oh, and Houston: we have an admirer. << MORE >>

Get ready for another installment of "Seriously, WTF". << MORE >>

Oh BOYS, Pisces! << MORE >>

Damn, it's like Aquarius and Pisces don't want to read their Tarot forecasts or something. In any case, a good year for sharpening tools such as your intellect, honing your gift of gab, and coming across as a professional and reliable individual who considers all sides of the story. << MORE >>

Just where you want to be this year, Capricorn, with that heart of yours all super-wide open... << MORE >>

Sag, if you're anything like me, you do just fine with surprises... << MORE >>

Scorpio, you could very well hit a jackpot somewhere this year. << MORE >>

And Libra's card makes it clear that Virgos aren't going to be attending a poop party or two alone this year. Speaking of 'clear'... << MORE >>

It would seriously be wise for folks not to f*ck with you this year but, unfortunately, I cannot promise smooth sailing, Virgo. On the bright side, there are levels to the variations of how people might choose to f*ck with you, and we can get a little specific on the "who" part as well... << MORE >>

Totally a year of exterior changes and updates for you, Leo. But, wait, aren't you perfect just the way you are? Ah, not really. However, don't worry-- no one else is perfect either...<< MORE >>