♪♫ "Psycho mom, psycho mom, psycho mooom..." ♪♫


OK.  Maybe we won't all be dealing with a psycho mom or putting out the fire that is baby mama drama but there is still definitely the likelihood of becoming involved in some batshit craziness that includes either another woman, a plain drama queen, a needy/clingy or obsessive/compulsive and/or violent type, earthly destruction, abuse or manipulation, jealousy or possessiveness, nasty gossip, betrayal, victimization, guilt, obligation, or, well, a member of the feminine half of the zodiac (Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, or Pisces).  Some people will feel overwhelmed, depressed, unloved, lonely, neurotic, and they may nag and become demanding, aggressive, pushy, feisty, and/or hormonal.

See what I mean about this weekend potentially having the makings of a Lifetime movie now?

And I'm not...  What the hell is that word?  A misogynist. I'm not a misogynist, and I do have close friends who fit into the feminine slots of the zodiac.  So don't assume that I hate anyone here (for example, I think Virgos are awesome), I am just stating the obvious.  After all, that is a heavily feminine card up there, it is reversed, I'm going with it, and... that's that.

At minimum, what the reversed Queen/Empress represents is emotional eating, disappointment, and/or dissatisfaction.  A void, especially a love-related void.  No matter how much some acquire, and how good things look on paper, and how fabulously impressive they feel their Facebook status updates are, all this effort is not going to be enough. 

So that when all is said and done, you may hear some people coming up with ridiculously expensive and overall stupid and supposedly-humanitarian ideas and plans that don't make any kind of sense-- not financially, mentally, or emotionally for anyone involved.  But, you know, they may turn out to look like heroes and saviors and angels and martyrs, and that's what's important. 

This (and perhaps a victimhood complex or two) will all be very interesting to watch unfold.  Get your popcorn ready, folks, and sit back and enjoy the show!  Someone's about to get a taste of their own medicine.  It comes in the form of "fuck no, you're on your own, honeybunch" and it won't taste very good.

I'd suggest watching a romantic comedy or cartoon or something, doing something that makes you feel pretty and reasonably pampered.  You don't need a lot of money for self-pampering.  Take a salt or bubble bath, light some candles, eat a piece of good quality chocolate (not ass chocolate) slowly, have a glass of red wine, massage some lotion or oils into any bothersome joints or tense areas of the body.  

Do whatever it takes to lighten the mood in as healthful a manner as possible (that means not downing an entire bottle of wine in about fifteen minutes) because it could be quite heavy.  Not to mention that some of us aren't going to be feeling particularly attractive or sexy.

Others who are used to getting what they want whenever they want are going to realize that their ridiculous plans will be a no-go and that no one is going to be willing to treat them like royalty. 

Or, gasp, some will have to start really really (perhaps excruciatingly) small at something this weekend, because they are simply nowhere near a blooming phase.  Sorry.

I'd be cautious around temperamental, needy, pushy, overly-ambitious, and insecure individuals.  Don't engage any one of these types in any way.  Just suggestions.

Some of us may be caring for a female who is exhausted and/or ill.

This card can be about difficulties in conceiving, a challenging delivery or miscarriage.  It can also mean the decision to refrain from having (anymore) children.

Be aware of one more thing: these cards indicate that either some "queen" is about to become dethroned, or that someone is aiming to dethrone a perceived queen (that is, an empowered, accomplished, responsible type, or a wife, a matriarch, a boss, etc).  How will such an event occur (if it does)?

Well, if said queen or "queen" is caught cheating, lying, stealing, etc, then that person leaves their reputation (and the reputation of others) open to destruction.

That said beware 'loose women' and certain acquaintances who want to get closer.  They're a dime a dozen.  In addition, there's more to life than cheap, easy thrills, tits, ass, and a sexually transmitted disease.

HOWEVER, (and this is what some really need to watch out for) there is the possibility of just plain nasty women with too much time on their hands attacking the perfectly good reputations of upstanding, honest women, and not in an obvious manner.  It will all be skeevy and subtle and syrupy-sweet at first. 

Later (or soon), not so much. 

The idea is that some idiots want to create a huge cloud of doubt around good, productive people (good women especially) who mind their own business and tend to their work and lives.

This is a tricky energy to deal with.  What will seem like innocent, fresh and friendly dialogue could actually turn out to be someone's way of prying into our business and stirring up some kind of trouble.  So it's up to us to really wake up, put our intuition to good use, and feel free to be suspicious.  Not accusatory-- suspicious.  Spidey senses should be up for some.  Good.  This will set us up on a covering-bases kinda mission.

Couple of more suggestions:

Develop or protect your sense of dignity and self-respect.

Be humble.  The more you think you're better than everyone else, the more you'll learn the opposite is true.  Don't humiliate yourselves.

Dress modestly, or watch what you are "selling".  People only buy what you sell.  Don't blame them.

Take and treat your craft, skills, or talent(s) seriously.  They are your babies.

Don't be TOO kind and welcoming and accommodating and friendly.  Please.  Right now I'm hearing about folks who are mistaking a simple arrangement to return something borrowed for the love affair of the century.  (I shit you not.)  Seriously, those of you who are too kind and helpful and willing to fix the fucked, please start channeling your inner-bitch stat.

There is a lot on some plates these days.  And some of us just don't have time for, or the luxury of, any high school horseshit.  So try as you may to screw someone over, you could find yourself digging your own graves.

Have a great weekend.