This week, our luck changes little by little.  Slowly and sweetly.  In a way that makes us savor the moment and experience simple but delicious fulfillment.

Lucky you.  And you.  And you.  And you. 

And lucky me.  I have to say, I don't own an Hermes bag.  I also don't ever plan on owning one, even with lottery winnings, and that's OK.  It's OK because I feel powerful and that everything else is falling into place.  That's what matters.  Luck is the ability to survive and still feel like surviving.  That is luck to me... among a few other things. 

My life has been very far from perfect, and only in recent years have I released myself of traumas.  When I say traumas, I refer to the parts of experiences known as "the shittiest shockers of all".  The part of an experience that makes us question every ounce of faith we've developed, everything we've learned, everyone we know.  That's what I mean. 

Our painful experiences don't go away.  They don't.  They are a part of us.  And looking around, I realize that these traumas haven't destroyed us-- they've MADE us.

Yes, yes.  Aren't we quite the packages, these days?

But today?  Today, the trauma is nowhere near as potent and debilitating as it used to be.  It is still painful at times.  I admit to having endured about the crappiest Mother's day to date without my mother here, this year.  No, really.  It was such a sad scene that I called no one all afternoon and pretty much drowned myself in homework assignments that weren't due for weeks to distract myself. 

Really, who the f*ck works that far ahead? 

Eventually, I set aside my hatred of just about all holidays, pulled my broken self together and called my mother-in-law.  Because she's just so f*cking awesome and I'd be an asshole otherwise.  Seriously.  She is the only person who mails-- not e-mails, but snail-mails-- cards that tell me she's thinking of me on the anniversary of, say, my younger brother's death.  On the cards, she'll suggest that I treat myself to something special.   

That is the kind of meaningful gesture I honor above any goddamn Hermes bag, even if it's dipped in gold. 

If you prefer the bag, I don't know what to tell you.

I do feel free and lucky in the knowledge that these stupid holidays don't matter as much as the memory of my mother.  I feel lucky, as well, to have the ability to catch myself whenever I fall.  To cry as much as I need to while watching a movie I've seen fifteen times at least.  To love animals and plants and kids like hell (fine, fine-- I love them all more than I do most adults).  To feel just the right amount of pride within so that I can tell others to fuck off precisely when they deserve to hear it. 

You know, just like mom taught me.

Best of all, I feel that others have felt, are feeling, or will feel just as free and lucky as I do. 

Hm, what makes you feel lucky?  What does the word 'luck' mean to you?  Is luck something that happens when we're least expectant?  Or does luck happen as we work our magic?  How does luck look, sound, smell, taste, feel?

Does luck even exist?  Or is it just our destiny in progress?

The questions don't stop when it comes to the Clover card.  In fact, the questions merely begin-- muahahaha-- along with the spin of a wheel.  Or a little gamble. 





I fucking love this card.  Look at all those green, 4-leaf clovers dancing around.  Sigh, they make me so happy. 

Aside from how I personally feel about the Clover...  well, what is it?  And what can it do for you?

First, I've pretty much never had a God-awful week when this card has popped up in readings.  Nev.  Er.  Whenever this card has popped up for me, I've always had amazing connections with folks I hadn't seen in a really long time.  Add to that the fact that they were folks I actually wanted to see, and I have had myself a damn good day or week. 

So rest assured that the same may be happening for you, here.  I sense a sigh of relief coming for many of you out there-- not just for a select and/or privileged few-- and, momma, it will feel good.  Very, very good.  Like the orgasm you've never had but always wish you did.

Go on ahead and let out that phew.

Oh, and enough with the Hiding From the World syndrome.  This is a fantastic time to make new friendships, all sorts of relationships.  Take advantage of it.

Second, does anyone else notice how close those clovers are to us?  And there's a home sitting a distance away... 

Hm, what could all this mean?

It means that convenience and security and safety nets may not be the best choice to rely on, this week.  All of these things may be far from our reach, actually.

Often times we stick with what we know, and who we know, because we feel safe and taken care of and secure.  And the fact of the matter is that this results in not-good scenarios.  Because for the sake of feeling secure (as in desired, wanted, needed, accepted, supposedly valued), we remain loyal to awful, abusive relationships whether said relationships are friendly, familial, romantic, professional and on and on we go.

Round and round, right?  

The beauty of this card is that it presents us with the opportunity to let go.  To reach a negotiation or resolution, but mainly to let go for the something else (the something better) already in our possession or sights.  It enables us with a carefree attitude that we will very much need throughout the remainder of the month.  Because if we worry too much, or stress out over the littlest things this week, we will reach a point in which we will cause ourselves injury-- to our bodies and/or our reputations.

And these injuries will be our responsibility. 

There, I said it.

This is a very lucky card to get.  It really represents a milestone for some of us, a lucky break for others, and still a bright new beginning for others! 

BUT this card may also signify a running out of luck for some in the very near future.  You know who you are.  This is your wake-up call.  The clovers staring at you in your faces are signs of wasted or abused privileges, gifts, wealth, breath, emotions (such as anger and jealousy and resentment) and, most of all, valuable time.  The clovers staring at you in your faces are also warning of staring too far off into a distant happiness that is just plain unattainable...

...when we should be paying attention to all the details in front of us because there is happiness right here to be savored and experienced. 

Folks, there is one last reason for the close proximity of these clovers, and it is that we should look no further than right in front of us for the new paths that we will be treading upon.  That is to say, for those of us seeking something-- a job or other opportunity for expansion or wealth or success, that our paths will be found through the words of mouths of others.  

Some of us will be very highly spoken about at this time.

Keep your eyes and ears open, and leave the shyness at home.  Ask questions.  Don't act interested-- BE interested in what the other has to say. 

Leaders, don't dare feel so special as to sit back and wait to be invited or addressed or summoned-- do the inviting or corresponding by taking some initiative.

Let's perk up, keep our eyes on the prize.  And let's listen.  Because we can miss a very rewarding offer or opportunity otherwise.

This week is really all about energy.  Specifically positive energy that makes others feel genuinely welcome and special and appreciated.  The easiest way to drive up this energy within us and then OUT of us and towards others is to imagine ourselves being excluded.  Do we enjoy being excluded? 

No?

Well, then.  If we don't like to feel excluded, we need to stop making others feel that way.  If we cannot give off positive energy and even humor, we will not be offered the positions or opportunities we desire, period.  What is being heralded now is positive energy (yes, that means absent of arrogance).  And for the record, very few will care about how popular our "thing", our creation, is when their eyes are on the unique. 


So, if we can transpire all of these things out of others, if we can make others feel good about themselves, we are good to go.

Also, let's not be afraid to reward ourselves or to accept rewards.  Obviously, we don't want to break the bank while rewarding ourselves.  But we don't want to feel guilty about treating ourselves to something special that we can afford, either.  Some of us don't even have to spend a single cent to reward ourselves.  Let's just use our imaginations for this one and perhaps be a little selective about our rewards. 

Alternatively, our reward can be a long-term investment.  Like a vacation, recreational activity, course of study, long-term piece of furniture or wardrobe, etc. 

Rewards need not arrive right away.  I don't know what is up with a number of the cultures in our world, but we need to chill the fuck out and be patient.  No matter when rewards come to us, they will feel like rewards.  So no fuzzy-wuzzies lost, OK, kids?  No fuzzy-wuzzies lost.  I pwomise.

Look, back when I was in High School, I took up Italian for three years.  In my second year, I was deemed the top student in my class.  My background wasn't even Italian, you know, like 99% of the students in my class-- I just happened to love the language and did the best I could in the subject.  As it was, I lived a few blocks away from Little Italy in the Bronx.  As such, it made sense that my dream was to travel to Italy and tour towns and eat cheese and seafood and gelato and tomatoes fresh from a vine.  It made sense of me to ensure that I learned to speak the language in case my dream came true someday. 

(And it did.  And I ate cheese and seafood and gelato and tomatoes fresh from a vine.  More than once.  Uh, more than twice to be honest.  But that's a story for another day.)

So, anyway, you can imagine my surprise when my name was called during some school ceremony. 

Yeah, barf.

Apparently, I'd achieved the highest grade that year, and I earned a reward for it.  Forget that some of the girls in my class looked a little pissed while I stood from my seat in utter horror.  I absolutely was not expecting this achievement.  And I hated walking up to a stage to accept a certificate in front of hundreds of students.

Gah. 

At the very least, I was happy to go home with that certificate in tow.  It was the only award I'd ever receive throughout my prison-- er, high school sentence, so it wasn't all too bad in the end.

So, you see, sometimes we earn rewards when we don't want, need or expect them.   And sometimes the enjoyable things we bravely do in the midst of ugly haters turn out to be the most rewarding and enriching. 

There is a carefree attitude so very necessary to this week that emanates from this card (as previously mentioned).  Think of puppies and kittens, here.  Or imagine the carefree attitude of a kid.  Know how a child takes on most anything, particularly anything new, with a boundless faith and enthusiasm?  That's what I mean.  I mean that kind of carefree attitude.

Most any task, role or trip can be fascinating at this time.

Oh, and while I'm well aware of a certain kind of age discrimination, especially on the interwebs, which continues to separate, for example, 40 and 50-something women who supposedly know everything there is to know about life... from "spring chicken" 20 and 30-somethings,... we'd all be better off letting this nonsensical polarization go. 

When I was 25, I learned a few valuable lessons from a special 5-year-old in my life.  It was a time when my life was pretty shitty, but I hid the shittiness pretty well, never allowing it to interfere with my work.

Work was work.  Personal issues were personal issues. 

Why is that so hard to comprehend for some of us?

In any case, I was this kid's nanny, and much of what he had to say to me was random.  Very random.  It was as if he sensed my heart breaking each time that it was breaking, no matter how well I set sadness aside to smile at the sight of him and the dimple on his right cheek.  No matter how much I wanted to know about his day or his "playdate" with a friend.  He just knew what I was feeling.  And he'd say something, just the right thing, just a sentence or two, to make that heartbreak go away over my chopping and dicing action in the kitchen.  Over the music swirling through the radio beside us.  Then he'd walk away to do his homework or play with his toys or video games while I worked, waiting for his dinner. 

The bizarre thing was... that he never remembered saying what he said.  He just kinda said things in bursts, and that was it.  They  were instantly gone.  If I didn't catch his bursts of genius, it was my loss.  But 9 times out of ten, I caught them.  And I held onto them. 

I hold onto his squeaky little words today.  And I feel really lucky in doing so.

I have no real explanation for how the kid did it, other than maybe he was just really finely tuned.  In other words, he was not distracted by the pettiness that adults are typically distracted and stupified by in "real life". 

When he spoke to me in the way that he did, he didn't do so to hear himself speak (as countless adults do).  Nor did he address me in a way that made me feel small. 

He spoke in a way that constantly reminded me of why I've always perceived kids as my equals.  I've never looked down upon children.  And I've never treated them as if they didn't know what life was all about because they were "little" or "too young to get it".

On the contrary, I've had nothing but respect for children for as long as I can remember.  And I find that what they have to say is far more interesting and educational than most adults and their concerns for crap.

So it is shameful to think of a dividing line between us and others we can learn a great deal from just because of a difference in age.  Isn't it?  Many members of older generations, for example, feel threatened by those generations after their own.  And, in order to save their ____________, in order to feel a sense of validation, they create networks of people within their own age brackets, excluding those that fall into younger age brackets.  

This immaturity has created something of a pathetic gap between older and younger folks.  Particularly women. 

I don't get the impression that men give two shits about befriending a 20-something, 30-something or 50-something member of their own species. 

However, many women, on the other hand, do seem to have a senseless fear of learning something from a member of a younger generation. 

Perish forbid.

And then they wonder why younger generations rule them nutty. 

If we want to keep this nonsense up, so be it. 

I think, though, that now would be a good time to put this generational constipation to rest.  Now would be a good time to cease competing, acknowledging those we've rudely disregarded for no valid reason.  My sense is that we will learn more from those we want to hate just because they're younger and seemingly inexperienced and uneducated.  And if some of you keep on pretending that you're better than others because you're older and more "seasoned", you're going to wind up a village idiot.

And don't you dare come around, pretending to know us younger folks, when some of us result very, very successful and influential people in the near future.  Because we're going to fart at you through our armpits.

Take care of your village, and it will take care of you, folks.  That simple.   Yes, really.

Who the hell do we think we are, some of you older generations ask? 

I, for one, am no one but me.  Don't like it?   Too bad.  Get used to having me around, because I'm not going anywhere.  At least not without a good fight (and, boy, can I put up my fucking dukes).

Luckily, my 5-year-old pal (who is now 10-years-old) hasn't gone anywhere either.  Each time I see him in the neighborhood, I hug him in gratitude for the way in which he has inspired me. 

So, yeah.  If we can look past those age brackets; if we aim to get along with others of different age groups; if we can get various age groups to work well together, we'll fare very, very well.




The Clover translates to the Wheel of Fortune.

In order to take part in good fortune, we need to spin the wheel.  We need to create our own luck.  So I reiterate a plan to take initiative, this week.  To seek out alternative plans instead of persisting with something that is simply not working out. 

The mind cannot be fooled.  It knows what it knows and to attempt to fool it is pretty much flirting with disaster.  Don't fool yourselves into thinking up an outcome that is just not possible.  And don't let anyone else dictate your future. 

Denial is not your friend, right now. 

What goes around comes around.

Also, let's not be quick to turn down offers just because they're not netting us a small fortune.  Or because they're "beneath" us.  What this card is saying is "take a chance, idiot".  So, well, take a chance, idiot.  There is a small chance we lose a turn, but we have more chances of "winning" here.  Got it?  We have a lot more to gain, this week, than we think we do.

The truth of the matter is that I've met more celebrities and people of prominence while working at what are considered the shittiest jobs.  So don't be afraid of taking on a shitty job, because it will lead you to better things.  And it will teach you more than an easy job can ever do.  I'm not sure why, but this country has it fucking backwards when it comes to work and rewards.  We think that an Ivy League education is a ticket to starting off at the top of a pyramid and somehow going higher than that and winding up somewhere in the heavens. 

I hope that reality, or our fall from the clouds, confirms that life isn't like that.  That we can't start off at the top of a pyramid because the only way out of that tippy-top is down.

In real life, we start from rock-bottom and work our way up.  There is no easy way to success and wealth.  No quick route whatsoever, regardless of what anyone else promises. 

Yes, there are a lot of shitty people to blame for the ideas they instill in humanity through insipid marketing and commercialism.  Fine.  I'll give you that.

BUT we are just as responsible for listening and adhering to what we watch and hear and assume to be the quickest way to wealth.  We are just as much to blame for supporting their behaviors by shopping for the very idea they're selling.

That's right.

So, folks, be angry.  But include yourself in that angry spectacle.  Don't be so quick to cleanse yourselves of your responsibility to what is happening around you, because many of you sure as hell ain't clean.  Nowhere near it.  You're not innocent by any stretch, especially not when you knew what you were doing all along. 

You bought the bridge someone else sold you at one time. 

Now be a big-kid about it, and make good use of it. 

We have a lot more to gain, this week, than we think we do.

Until this day, I haven't worked a job that is "highly regarded", nor have I desired Ivy League status.  I haven't been a doctor or a lawyer or a politician.  I'm not a famous writer, neither on the interwebs nor in real life.  I've never been a guest on Oprah, but I don't ever want to be.  I certainly don't draw in thousands of hits per day on this blog, but that has never been a goal of mine either. 

All I've wanted was a space, with my name on it, to vent on.  And that's precisely what I have on this blog (though somehow it has morphed into a little something more over the years).

Yes, I'm just me.  And this is my blog, a space for me to share the beauty of my life and vent my frustrations as well.  Criticize it.  Hate it.  Love it...   I shrug at what you think of it.

This blog is not a threat.  It is not competition for your blog.  It is a healthy outlet for me in a world filled with humans who release their frustrations via loud, unfair, ridiculously violent "no-nos". 

I have worked hard throughout my entire working life, happen to work really well with children and pets, and I am good at taking care of others.  I've also been good at putting this three-year-old project I call a blog together.  I am proud of all of this. 

Therefore, I won't allow anyone to discount what I have to offer, ever, based on what I write in this blog or other assorted minutiae.  I don't care who you are.   

If you don't like what I have to offer on here, don't read it.  Because if you read my words while hating them, guess what, you're the nut.

If you flip out because I forget what today's date is, well, that falls under the category of Your F*cking Problem. 

I may not be perfect, but no one I know is perfect either.  As such, striving for perfection is asinine, as is allowing myself to feel like an idiot because you say so. 

Bitch, please.

Wow, that is so freeing to type. 




And freedom is a lucky win. 




So is peace of mind, ain't it?

Yes, the luck of freedom and peace of mind is frequently taken for granted.

Freely recognize what you bring to the table that is different from what others have to offer.  Showcase it all.  And whatever you do, do not allow anyone to undermine your abilities because of your age, lack of experience and/or education, etc.  These individuals are just pissed because they feel old and crusty on the inside and outside.

Determination is key all week long. 

As we can very well see in the world today, intellect and good sense does not increase with age and experience, anyway.

Have a super week.