Welcome to the brand new month of May, folks.  A time when we'll be grabbing life by the horns for sure. 

Yeeeee-haw!

Well, it could be worse.  We could be in March all over again. 

Besides, I didn't say that grabbing life-- not nature or other people's lives, but our own individual lives-- by the horns would be easy.  I'll be honest.  For some, it's gonna feel just like that picture up there.  A handful of struggles.  For others, this month will feel like that picture up there buuut with a fantastic adrenaline rush .  Either way, good luck sitting still and/or hang in there-- we can come out winning, all the more stronger.


              Mmm


This year while pondering May and even the warmer month June, I couldn't help but think of hands.  Sunshine and frozen yogurt topped with loads of stuff, too, but primarily our hands.  Working with our hands.  Making objects and foods and other projects out of them.  Molding, shaping, manipulating and massaging our "sculptures" to match our vision.  Giving.  Receiving.  Re-gifting.  Donating. Writing.  Picking up a telephone.  Flipping pages.  Planting.  Chopping.  Counting.  Organizing and cleaning and rearranging.  Hands-on experiences.  And, of course, time on our hands.


                        


Time on our hands came to mind.  And combined with the consideration of this card, the Cats, so did privacy, possessions, responsibility, sponsorship, family, groups and associations, expenditures and indulgences, frolic and a couple of other assorted concerns.  Not to mention that there's likely a new cat in town.

For those of us who have, or have had, the pleasure of either raising a cat or spending time with one, it is pretty common knowledge that cats have lots of time on their hands.  Er, paws.  Lots of times on their paws.  Yep.  As kittens, these furry creatures have less time on their paws since they take interest in a paper ball and chase it for hours.  But as adults and seniors, staring out of a window or sunbathing for hours, neither exactly qualifying as a busy activity, takes center stage.

And so we have it.  Some extra time on our hands, perhaps.  But while we have permission to get cozy, the message of this card is not to become too comfortable.  Let's take care of ourselves and what we consider "top-priority".  Some of us have a great deal of work to do yet, a pile of stuff to finish, a big sacrifice or two to make in the coming days.  We'll have the opportunity to focus on these things all week.   As such, it would be near-criminal to indulge in other non-important situations or unaffordable events. 

No excuses.  Here is a chance for some of us to really change our lives in a certain way. To hit a milestone.  To bid farewell, once and for all, to a mentality or belief or job or even a person that has only brought upon us guilt, imprisonment and the feeling that we cannot go on and we cannot progress.  Let's consider this week a time-out to truly add magic and power to what we wish.  To regain a sense of clarity.  To find an answer.  To cease the nonsensical "need" to fit in-- many groups, websites, forums and other places will be far from welcoming, anyway.  Let's work on health and sense of security in all its forms without screwing up someone else's.

We are returning "home", or to familiar territory, or to a sense of "normalcy", where we can focus and work on our needs and the needs of those closest to us. 

Sacrifices made and, of course, patience will be paying off now.  Fend off the jealousy as best you can.

The sacrifices we make now will also be rewarding.  Maybe not within the first 5 seconds of making them.  But not within five years of making them, either.  F*cking hop to 'em because the ride to success and accomplishment can be accelerated at this time.  We can finish what we start, and a lot sooner than we might think.

No biggie.

We'll probably be called upon to stand up for others or care for those who are not in tip-top health and shape. 

And for the love of God, if something is RIGHT THERE, right IN FRONT OF us, and we can handle it, then let's HANDLE IT.  The imagery that comes to mind to best explain this is...  Well, if you're reading a book, would you have an assistant flip the pages for you?  No, right?  Because, unless you don't have functioning fingers,  that would be considered RIDICULOUSLY LAZY. 

That said, if we can open it, let's open it.  If we can shut it, then let's shut it.  This is not Rocket Science, folks.

Let's use our hands.  Maybe craft something or cook something.  It kills time and results in accomplishment.  Not to mention that putting a meal together for ourselves is always a win-win.

Some of you:  stand up for someone else for a change, will you?


                         


The Cats translates to the Hanged Man.  This is a 'live and let live' kinda card here.  The Hanged Man is full-fledgedly developed, wise through sacrifice and toil, and he pretty much says "taking care of me (and my own) is more than enough responsibility, right now.  Thanks."  And he's taking a break or asking for one. 

And so, if I were some of you, I'd pay attention. Because there is a risk of being far too careless, and the Hanged Man sure can represent "the calm before the storm".

No hand-outs.  No short-cuts.  No extras or ridiculous conveniences.  No catering to the every whim of another.  No limitless sympathy and compassion.  No more blaming credit card companies or anyone else for the debts we accrue on our own terms while making those unnecessary, extravagant purchases. 

We, collectively, cannot afford to clean up your sh*t.  Understand?  So wipe your own butts, and find some good deals.  Switch brands.  Do what you need to do to adapt to a new budget or lifestyle.  Many, many of us have to do it.

Bitter much?  No one is "owed" a luxurious, cushy, convenient lifestyle.  Or a date.  Or a relationship.  Or attention. 

       Welcome to humanity, where we work for what we want.

No one has the right to make another uncomfortable either.  It's actually not funny, so please get your acts together.  Because if we're just annoying enough, believe me, we're not gonna like the responses we get from the annoyed. 


         

Ever hear of a Hands-Off policy?  Some of you will.

Phew.  And yikes.  Talk about a crash course in GrowtheFUp.  Which is a damn good course, but I can't imagine that many of us will make good use of it.

Besides, some of you don't want any help because "that problem" is "not your fault", anyway, and it'll go away, right? 

Huh.

That well some of us keep turning to for finances to support booze and antiques and other stuff we don't need is about to run dry.  And you might unenthusiastically be moving back in with family or a group you consider "family".  Whether an inheritance or alimony or other similar "award", your well has been abused.  So it is time to stop and think about what your lives are going to be like once that well does, in fact, run dry.  Some of us are not in a college dorm anymore, and we're not eighteen, and we can't just crash on the couches of our friends and eat their Cheetos each time something goes remotely awry in life. 

It's time to pull-up our big-kid underpants and deal with it.


                         


If anyone wants to deem us stupid or tactless, for no particular reason, even if you're actually a kind, smart cookie, so be it.  This is not an insult-- it is an experience that can be molded to work for you, and a naysayer is just jealous.  For Chrissake, folks, reeeally take a long, hard look at who the "insult" is coming from for a clue. 

Get my drift, now? 

Good.

(Psst, I have never failed at making this childish nonsense work for me.  So if you need pointers, feel free to drop me a line at any time.)

Moving on, until some of us stop treating the Earth and its character, otherwise known as nature, like a nuisance.  Earth will not cease to treat us as one, otherwise.

Same goes for how our bodies naturally operate.  Our bodies are vehicles, not a nuisance, and we should respect them.  They're not supposed to fulfill every expectation of ours.  They boost our spiritual existences here, and anything more they can do for us is fantastic, but extras should not be expected.  We should care for our bodies, nurture them, fuel them, thank them and, most importantly, be comfortable in them.  Love them for what they are able to do, love them even if they seem to fail us.  Love them more when they hurt.  Because pain is pretty much the 'last straw' for our systems.

Let this sink in.  And then we'll come back up for air.

Breathe in.

Exhale.

Good.

FART.
 
Hm.  Ever own a flowerpot?  Maybe you've planted it or purchased it, but it's your flowerpot, and you are responsible for how it develops.

There are days when the flower will be 'bright and cheery'. 

There are days when some of its leaves and petals will dry and we'll have to pluck them to make room for new leaves and petals.

There might be a day when the flower, for no real reason, even after optimum care, falls and goes 'boom' and it dies.  And nothing we do will bring it back to life.

In the third scenario, is it fair to deem the plant useless?  A failure?  Not-in-the-know, because it didn't become a fan of Oprah?  Evil, because the plant didn't invest time in reading the bible?

So putting this kind of pressure on ourselves to be the brightest, cheeriest, most invincible, Godliest, etc, and trying to keep up with the Jones', is kinda unfair.  Worse, it really makes no sense in the climate we're in, currently.

The next time some of you whine and bitch because you can't run a marathon, think of others who have no legs.  (That's just an example, and only you know what your "beef" is.)

The next time that "void" surfaces, know that shoes and bags and indulgences and affairs and shallow relationships aren't gonna fill it up.  A void requires a deeper treatment than that, a lifelong commitment to ourselves, and all that seems nice on the surface is to us what Tylenol is to a mysterious ache.  We're better off figuring out where a void is coming from and doing something about it because Tylenol sure ain't gonna help with a diagnosis or treatment.


                    

Applying unnecessary pressure and tension upon others makes them uncomfortable and fearful, and their self-esteem can wither away to nothingness.  The best example of this I can offer is Phoebe Prince who, after a long time of bullying from a few fellow classmates, tragically ended her life by hanging herself on a stairwell in her own home. 

Now, you can tell me all you want about how her teenage classmates couldn't possibly have provoked something like this.  And I'll tell you that, combined with neglect from school officials and even parents, they absolutely cruelly fucking did and they all deserve to be in jail and they're lucky as hell I'm not the judge seated above them during their case.  These kids went so far as to insensitively blame and taunt the victim after her death, laughing off the tragedy at a school dance and posting insults on her Facebook page.  You know, where everyone can see them.  No remorse whatsoever.

Things have changed drastically in the bullying department at schools, folks, and denying this is not going to help the situation.  This is cold, harsh reality facing us, right now, and parents and administrators have the power to band together and put a stop to it.  Maybe Phoebe Prince, and the 10 and 11-year-old kids who've committed suicide before her, mean nothing because they are not your children and bullying has been around "forever".  But this issue should be of importance to you   Because the kind of bullying that occurs in schools today is a 10.0 version.  It's acquired its own term, Bullycide,  and it nastily extends itself outside of school and straight into the interwebs where-- guess what?-- your kids are all hanging out. 

And, unlike in the past, there is no breathing room from it.  No break.  Bullies are more persistent and ruthless than ever before.  Why?  Because they've been allowed to arrive at this stage of terror, and victims are, in all actuality, helpless-- no one defends them.

Thus, continuing to do absolutely nothing about this is pretty much agreeing to it.  And, yeah, it very well can reach your children.  No one is immune to this kind of abuse.

Once many begin to smarten up and sue the very schools who ignore their pleas for help and intervention, we're going to have a little crisis on our hands and schools will shut down.  As it is, many schools lack adequate funding.  These decisions will not be made with notice either.  Schools, alongside hospitals and other community-related organizations, have shut down overnight throughout the United States, already.   And the show isn't over, yet.

If you think this is not going to happen to your school or a school you know of, think again.  We have "Phoebe's Law" in the works, and there is not much more I can say about that law that you can't figure out for yourselves.

That being said, get your minds out of how everything was twenty or thirty years ago at your elementary school.  Yes, way back when you could roll up your sleeves, beat the shit out of the biggest douchebag and call it a day.

It's not that easy to counteract bullying anymore.  It's sort of like ridding ourselves of an infestation of critters.  Step on one, and twenty more bugs show up out of nowhere.  Step on those, and 50 more show up.  The only happy ending comes when you graduate.  If you graduate. 

It's not easy to battle Bullycide when we have 12 to 15 boys/girls obsessively tormenting one boy/girl, concealed weapons and severely overpopulated schools.  It's not easy when no one is on your side.   It's not easy when teachers, and administrators, fear and coddle bullies.  It's not easy to do any of it at this stage, when bullying has ripened to the point in which many are afraid to do anything about it and the legal system must intervene.

But Deb.  What about all the therapists?

Do I really need to answer that? 

OK, fine.  Softening and sugaring things up and "talking it out", because the victim is the one with the problem here and not so much the poor bully with low self-esteem, does not make all the horror go away.  I have worked in schools.  And I can tell you that in preschools themselves, which are full of 3 and 4-year-olds, bullies are little terrorists who get away with their antics because they are "cute".



               

Please note that these are kids, not adults, but kids who are taking their lives at a more frequent pace than in the past.  This used to be a rare thing, not really talked about.  

If these kids, really young kids, have taken their own lives, it is because there is something seriously and devastatingly wrong with the way our educational system is being run. 

Folks, there is such a thing as being TOO COMPASSIONATE.  I don't care how religious or spiritual or holy or pure or clean or forgiving, etc, etc, you think you are and what it is you preach to others about unicorns and fluffy clouds and world peace.  The fact is that we've crossed a huge boundary, and we have become blindly and dangerously compassionate.  Forgiving those who harm, time and time again, is not OK-- not for our educational systems, not for anyone.  It's time to stop dreaming and making up excuses for the lack of work we do in solving problems like these.

What if your kid is a bully who winds up being cuffed and sent off to jail?  Because he/she knew no bounds and apparently didn't know his/her own strength and level of maliciousness?  Would some of you be able to handle that?

Deb, who the f*ck are you to talk?

I've worked with parents, some of whom care about the welfare of their children but many of whom do not, as well as ignorant or neglectful administrators and teachers (again, some of whom care but many who do not), so I don't feel any less than any of you out there.  I've given 120% of myself to any job I've ever had, having worked with kids in some capacity-- childcare, tutoring, instruction, etc-- over the course of twenty years.  And so, yes, I care just as much as the insufficient amount of parents, educators and administrators who do care. 

I don't need to be a parent or administrator to give a shit about our educational system or about our children.  Get over it.

This is not a typical rant from me, folks.  It is a warning.  I strongly suggest that we start taking responsibility for the decision to raise a family as well as for the behavior of our children.  Seeing them at dinnertime is not enough.  Shutting up their whining with a shiny new iPod is not enough.  Attending or hosting PTA meetings is not enough.  Sending them off to the principal's office is not enough.  Sending them off to therapy is not enough.  Kids are not "someone else's problem."

We're talking monumental changes and controversial issues ahead in areas (education, health, agriculture, etc) we discuss and value and depend on most.  Some of them will be here overnight.  They're gonna hit us like a ton of bricks.  We're going to be forced to change direction.  And I assure you that, no, many of us will not find this stuff funny.  So we really need to toughen and ready up.

We've a lot of thinking and research and work to do.
  

            


To the Bat Cave.

Have a super week.