Astro Nuggets by Deb Steinberg: Libra Says 'Go F*** Yourself' by Sign


Strutting into an Astrology website that bashes one zodiac sign or another seems inevitable, lately.  Whether it's a Capricorn hating a Libra or a Virgo wanting to wipe away a Scorpio like a speck of dust, this asinine conflict is out there on the interwebs for readers to see.  It is an astrological nuisance which has reached a point of annoyance within me, so I've decided to do something about it. 

Is a feisty Aries causing havoc?   How about a menopausal Capricorn?  Arrogant Scorpio?  Controlling Leo?  Full-o'-shit Libra?  Well, thanks to my Libran drive for justice, I've developed a series of comebacks or "tools" necessary to defeat, or at least highly anger and confuse, your judgmental enemies in battle no matter their sign:


Aries:  "Huh?  Huh?  What?  What is it?  What?  Can you repeat that?"  Keep this going for about
            ten minutes.  When Aries' veins look like they're gonna pop out of his temples, give him an
            indifferent "oh".

Taurus: "Clean up my look?  Clean up your place.  You practically save the crap in your toilet for
               retirement!"

Gemini: "Yaaaaaaaaawn."  End with an urgent glance at your watch and a smile.

Cancer: "Wow, you look... different!  I didn't say 'fat'.  I said different."

Leo: "Gee, you're cute when you're angry." 

Virgo: "Pssst psst pst."  Whispering inaudibly will drive a Virgo nuts.  If that fails, try "I moved your
            folder/comb/keys/butter to an extra special place but can't remember where I put it/them."

Libra: "Barbie, you're more full o' sh*t than my rectum, right now.  And your painting's crooked."

Scorpio:  "You're but one of over 6 billion people on Earth.  The fact that you've learned
                to tie your shoelaces isn't going to make national headlines."

Sagittarius: "Ha ha! You're, like, so funny when you're being all serious and stuff.  Seriously."

Capricorn: "OMG, I thought you were sixty.  Forty-five?  Really??"

Aquarius: "Great, animated speech.  But, um, what the f*ck are you talking about?"

Pisces: "Aw, did you forget to take your meds, again?"



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Posted by Deb Steinberg at 1/17/2010 12:10 AM
Categories: Astro Nuggets
Tags: Libra Says 'Go Fuck Yourself Astro Nuggets Libra Tearing Other Zodiac Signs a New Ass Deb Steinberg Saturn in Libra
 

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